"The things I learned from Mom", by Karla W.

My mom was born in August of 1925, and was a young child when the Great Depression and Dust Bowl hit.  The change I grew up with included the Assassination of John F. Kennedy, the Race Riots and the Cultural push back that destroyed the baseline of my parents’ generation. America, including my small hometown, was spinning on its heels with Radical Music, Hippies, Flower Power, and raw detest of any old established institution. 1940’s “square” values didn’t often fit the round values being formed in the 1960’s and 70’s of my formative years. 

It’s amazing I learned anything from my mother. But I did, and I learned these lessons well:

• ‍Pretty Is As Pretty Does
  Physical cuteness was nice, but it was much more important to behave and follow all the little cues and rules, and to do the right thing. 
• ‍Watch Me
  ‍If I wasn’t catching on to the prior lesson, Mom would try a different method. She’d patiently say, “watch me” and model the right way to do something. 
  There were so very many lessons learned from watching Mom. One in particular: it was our turn to visit and take a meal to Miss Louene, an older woman whom our church congregation took turns helping out. Mom asked if there was anything they could do to help. “Oh, my feet hurt. If I could just soak them in warm water for a minute or two it would ease the pain.”
  I watched Mom gently take Miss Louene’s feet, put them in a pan of warm water, soak them soft and trim the toenails, use the soap gently, dry them, find clean socks, and get the shoes back on with whole shoelaces from another pair of shoes. Miss Louene was so thankful she cried.
  I had watched and I had learned. There’s no task below me. None. Do what you have to do for others' comfort.   
• ‍Gardening Heals the Soul
  ‍Mom taught me her love of gardening by letting me work alongside her. I remember spraying and trimming her roses when older. Now, working in my gardens soothes and heals my spirit like nothing else. ‍
• Sew Happy
  ‍In her early 50s, Mom started quilting. I have a couple of her quilts and they’re beautiful. I loved hand-piecing quilts. I taught myself to cross stitch and worked at embroidery. Projects continue to bring me such happiness even today.
• ‍Family is Everything
  ‍Mom was a caregiver. She helped out Grandma and Grandpa in their older years. We faithfully went up home at least once a month throughout their lives. Mom and I went for a week in the summer. She loved her family beyond measure. She modelled for me how to be a caregiver and why it matters. I was so grateful later in life to have had these lessons, for caregiving became one of my primary life roles.‍
• I’ll Be There In The Darkness
  ‍I wasn’t afraid of the dark, but there were times when I’d wake up and just need my Mom. Mom would come back at bedtime when I was young and read to me from a book, then tuck me in tight. I remember her sneaking in to tuck me tight when I was a teen. I wouldn’t have admitted it but that simple gesture was so comforting.
  The lesson: No matter what, Mom would be there for me. She would comfort me in night darkness or a darkness of the soul. I could trust her always and forever.‍
• Home
  ‍The lyrics to the song “Home” in The Wiz say:
  “When I think of home I think of a place where there is love overflowing…
  I wish I was home. I wish I was back there…
  Living here, in this brand-new world might be a fantasy, but it taught me to love…
  and I’ve learned that we must look inside our hearts to find a world full of love…
  like home.”
  ‍I hope I’ve been able to pass this lesson and give it to my children. I must have, because all have homes filled with love. The most important lesson: Home

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"Talking to my younger self", by Larry D. 

Really, no matter what advice I might have offered my younger self, most times I would have ignored it, so what difference would it have made? Though it might have been nice to have avoided certain head injuries and stitches sustained in those young years, which I could have simply by following a few lessons:

• Don’t stand up on the rocking chair.
• Don’t attempt to walk around the four inch ledge above the school basement stairs, and for sure, don’t do it a second time.
• Don’t hold onto the top bar on the school merry-go-round and let your legs swing out as it turns faster and faster until you lose your grip.
• Don’t forget to be alert for John Deere tractors that might be parked in the outfield when you’re going back for a fly ball.
• And of course: Be careful using a nail puller when you’re taking the roof boards off Charlie Kreidlkamp’s old barn.

If I had told myself each of those things (and if I had obeyed that advice), I might not have the eight scars on my head following stitches at the doctor. But as it turned out, those injuries only hurt for a little while and depending on who you listen to, there really wasn’t that much brain matter that leaked out. 

There are things, however, that other people sometimes tell you that do not fall into the category of good advice. For instance, there is no urgency to rush to the window on April 1 in hopes of seeing a rabbit with a straw hat on. No matter how fast you run he’s always gone by the time you get there. And what about Grandpa Brock taking advantage of my knowledge of fertilizer helping crops grow better by suggesting that rubbing fresh chicken droppings on my upper lip would promote a good moustache. 

Maybe some of the advice I might have given myself would have been in that same unnecessary category. Had I been inclined to give wise counsel to myself those many years ago it’s quite probable I would have missed out on a lot of fun, as well as many valuable learning situations. That is the best advice I can give anybody. 

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"Advice for my great-grandchildren", by Angela K.

When I reflect upon my days, I wish I had not been so serious and responsible. I am not sure why I thought I had to carry all the responsibility on my back. 

There are times I had alone with my husband and he just wanted me to be present with him to talk and to laugh and to enjoy simple things. I was often too busy to be with him in the way he would have liked. So, be more present. Be with who you are with fully. Don't be on the phone, working or distracted but give your full attention to the one you are with. It is the best gift you can give and you can never get that time back.

Try new things as you may just like them and it may become your go-to thing. Go to new places. Don't be afraid to fail. Try something, and then try again until you find the thing that you love. Responsibility, determination, and hard work are awesome virtues, but leave room to balance with fun, detours and a bit of extravagance. 

Be grateful for what you have and trust that life will unfold for you in amazing ways. The universe really does have your back if you can take one step at a time towards what feeds your soul and makes you feel alive.

Here are 15 pieces of advice.

1. Wear a smile. It always looks good on you.

2. Take the detours. They are worth the trip.

3. Start each day with gratitude.

4. Remove the word “should” from your days.

5. You don’t have to be so responsible. Focus on you.

6. There are no right decisions, just a series of choices. You can always choose again.

7. Trust yourself always and in all ways.

8. Do You. Believe in you.

9. Lead with your heart and follow it everywhere.

10. You are a gift. Share your gifts.

11. Be present with what is. Let go of resistance. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice.

12. Aim high. You can do hard things.

13. Be still and listen. You have all the answers within you.

14. Laugh often, then laugh some more.

15. Just breathe... If you can breathe in, you can breathe out.